“As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.”
Michal gets a lot of bad press, but I can totally relate to her.
This woman once loved David. She probably hadn’t seen David’s attack on Goliath, but she had certainly heard about it. What’s more, Saul hired David permanently from then on, so David was hanging around the palace. Begin with courage and valor in a handsome package and add being thrown together, and you’ve got, if not hero worship, love. And that’s what 1 Samuel 18 tells us; she loved him.
David thought it was above him to marry into the king’s family, but when Saul devised a challenge for him, with Michal as the reward, David gladly responded with twice as many Philistine foreskins (ouch!) as Saul had required. Michal was happy. David was happy. Saul was jealous of the new hero’s fame, and he was miserable. So he tried to kill his son-in-law.
Now comes the trouble for Michal. She is stuck between the old regime (her father) and the new regime (her husband). She feels loyalty to both. When trouble comes, it is not David who is rescuing her but she who is standing in the gap (and against her father) for David. Not a pretty scene. Here is a national hero, slayer of nine-foot giants, killer of thousands, and he is not coming through for her. Where is he? Running off to save his skin. Where is she? Left behind to face her father’s full wrath.
While David is gone, Saul gives her away to another man! Wait a minute! She loved David. Was this new arrangement a good thing for her? I think not. But where is David, her hero, her rescuer? He is hiding in the desert. He is not rescuing.
When we catch up with Michal here, David is sealing his kingship by bringing the ark into the city—something that is very meaningful to him because he really loves the Lord. And Michal, the young woman caught between her father and her husband, the young bride married off to someone else, the married woman who was reinstated as a wife but who was never rescued from her father or from any of her difficult circumstances by the hero, despises David in her heart. Can’t you hear her anger as she tells him off in verse 20? Can you blame her?
You may be caught between your loyalty to your abuser and a loyalty to your husband. There was a wrong bond formed in abuse. Physical unity creates a spiritual bond (1 Corinthians 6:16–17). So you end up despising the people that should have rescued you. You despise your husband who seems weak and is not rescuing you from difficult circumstances brought on by the abuse (even though he may not yet know your secret!). Sometimes you may even despise him because he did not rescue you from your abuser in your youth, even though he might not have known you then. How we women long for a Prince Charming! It is in our hearts to long for him, but the Prince is Jesus!
Do you despise your husband because he is not rescuing you in some way today? Place your expectations on the Prince of Peace and ask your husband to pray for you, to war for you. You may also have to ask God to forgive you for expecting your husband (or boyfriend, etc.) to be your savior, something that only He can be. Oh, how painful, how painful this is! Did you despise God in your heart because it looked as though He wasn’t coming to your rescue! Oh, dear woman, pray!
This a page from the book When God Roared. Each page will be published, one per day, on this website. We pray that God uses it mightily in your life to swaddle you in His love and heal your precious heart.